RESTORATION= an act of returning to a previous state of being. The Hebrew translation for restore is to "repay, bring back, recover, reconstruct & reestablish."

 It's fully human to think and feel that restoration should look a certain way. I have always envisioned mine to look like the life I have always wanted..financial and relational security, a loving husband and another child, since mine was stolen from me. It never even crossed my mind that I could and should have spiritual restoration. I was recently talking with a friend about this. I was sharing some of my son's story around him passing and what I have lost in the process. She asked me point blank, "What does restoration look like to you?" This question took me by surprise as I really haven't given this much thought other than the tangible things I felt should be returned to me. I felt slight embarrassment as I really had to pause and think before answering her. After sharing with her what I heard the Lord tell me after Grayson died she shared with me another honest truth. "Have you ever thought that your restoration might be spiritual? That this tragic situation would have brought you back to God?" Oh man I really didn't like this thought, it didn't fit in to my perception of how things should be in my mind. I sat for a moment and told her that I donated my sons organs after his passing. Only 1 out of 6 recipients reached out to me. She was a 30 year old Christian woman who received both my sons kidneys and she shared her story in a letter. As I shared this with my friend tears began to well up in my eyes. "Six lives were saved" I said now full on crying. She kindly corrected me and said, "No, 7 were saved. Because your son passed this brought you back to the Lord." WOW. This hit me like a ton of bricks and she was right. Before Grayson died I was lukewarm to say the least. I had one foot in church and the other in New age heading down a dark path. When Grayson left this earth I was at the very rock bottom and that's where the Lord met me. Since this conversation with my friend my perspective on what restoration would look like has completely changed. I don't know how this will unfold in my life as God is still working on restoring me. What I DO know is what the Bible says about it. In Isaiah 61:7 it talks about a double portion. Jeremiah 30:17 He restores and heals our wounds. Job 42:10 He restores what was lost. 2 Kings 8:6 He will restore all that was hers and Joel 2:25 He will repay you for the years the locusts have stolen.

Until my time comes I will wait patiently in hope with trustful expectation that God will do what He promises, however that may look like.